Lost and Insecure
by Eclipsefan-16xo
Summary: What if Elena Gilbert had a twin sister? This is the story of Nicole Gilbert. Discover her life from her perspective! The plot is similar to the show for a few chapters and then it takes a different road! She will encounter vampires; such as Damon and Stefan Salvatore. Just like Elena did. The story begins when Elena first meets Stefan. Extended Summary Inside! Read & Review?
1. Lost and Insecure

**Fandom: **The Vampire Diaries

**Season: **1 and my extended version.

**Summary:** What if Elena Gilbert had a twin sister? This is the story of Nicole Gilbert. Discover her life from her perspective! The plot is similar to the show for a few chapters and then it takes a different road! There will be a few diary entries every now and then written by her. She will encounter vampires; such as Damon and Stefan Salvatore. Just like Elena did.

The story begins when Elena first meets Stefan, how will Nicole react to this? Will she dive into the vampire world with ease or will she hide away forever? Seeing as there's two doppelgangers in Mystic Falls...Who happens to turn up? Klaus Mikaelson. Follow, Favorite, Review, Read! I love you guys! :)

**Dear Diary,**

_It seemed like it was only yesterday that my life took a turn for the worst. But actually it was just before the summer started. I used to desperately search for an escape. To somehow get away from the madness which I was made to call my life. _

_My life had crumbled to a million tiny pieces and there wasn't a _single_ thing that I could do about it. And I hated it. I hated that I couldn't change the past. That some things were just meant to be. But not this. Why them? Why them and not me? I was on the bridge of losing myself completely and the reason why I'm still here is Elena. My sister, my twin to be exact. My younger brother; Jeremy was just as lost as I was. _

_We were all stuck in the middle of this; in this mess. I just wanted something to happen. Something life changing which would help me to see some other reason to live, because one day my siblings just wouldn't be enough. _

_My life had never been interesting. Everything was normal before the accident. Before everything changed. I'm left here on this planet with Elena and Jeremy, feeling like there is no other point in living, in talking...Or even in breathing..._

_On that night when I woke up in hospital confused and on the brink of death, the Doctors told me that my parents hadn't made it. That the car had drove off Wickery Bridge, leaving Elena and myself alive, but not them._

_In that instant I wanted to die. I just wanted to leave right there and then and be with them. I screamed at the Doctors to let me die, to let me reunite with them, to not let me stay here anymore. I refused to eat, refused to do anything that would help in my survival._

_I had to see psychiatrist after psychiatrist to help me and eventually...I gave up fighting to die. It was as if someone had just snapped their fingers and _boom. _I wanted to live. I wanted to live to see the next day and the next. I wanted to experience the world. See the oceans and the cities..._

_Once I had gotten out of hospital, our Aunt Jenna moved in and we all thought it was best if she became our new legal guardian. We had seen her at most Christmas' and thanksgiving's, she was reasonable and at first I was completely against her and just wanted things to be how they were..._

_But now? A few months later, I've realised that she's amazing and she's slowly becoming like a mother to me. School is starting again tomorrow, the new school year._

_I hadn't seen any of my friends all summer, they had kept in contact with Elena and she would update them on what was going on. Elena had always been better than me at handling things, especially when it came to this. But I believed that I could get better and I was, it was taking time but I was._

_We were all strong enough for this. I didn't know how we would get this but somehow we would. The Gilbert's had always been strong, I know that much from the history books, you see the Gilbert's were one of the Founding families of the town which I live in; Mystic Falls, Virginia back in the 1860's. _

_There were many other founding families but we were amongst them, somewhere. We had fought and we had stayed strong when we thought that all hope was lost. I would take a page out of their book for this new school year._

_It was going to be challenging but I knew that I could do this. _

_I could. I would._

**_Nicole Gilbert. - Sunday 5__th__ September 2012._**

**_x_**


	2. It's All About The Coffee

**Hia guya! Sorry that I haven't updated this story for a while, I've been far too busy with my other ones, check them out if you haven't. Honestly, I'm not that pleased with this chapter and it's a lot shorter than I hoped, but at least I've updated, right? New chapter will be up soon, the more reviews I get, the quicker the chapter! Thank youu guys! I love you ^_^**

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_"We watched our lives on the screen._

_I hate the ending myself,  
But it started with an alright scene._

_Now will it matter after I'm gone?  
Because you never learn a goddamned thing."_

**_Disenchanted - My Chemical Romance_**

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**Chapter 2: It's all about the coffee.**

**Nicole:**

New school year. Well, what did it have installed for me this time?

Anything interesting? (I doubt it)

Anything new? (Debatable)

I took a sip of my morning coffee as I leant against the kitchen counter the morning before my first day back at school. Everything was going to be so much different. Jenna came downstairs and started panicking, "What's wrong?" I asked, concerned for her constant mood-swings and stress-levels.

She always overworked because she thought that she wasn't a good enough guardian for us. Which was absolutely not true. We would have never gotten through the first day without her. I couldn't have chose a better person to take care of us.

"It's your first day today and I'm freaking out." She said through shaky breaths. I sighed and shook my head at her,

"You work too much. Calm down, everything's going to be alright." At that point Elena came down the stairs and Aunt Jenna turned to her, opening the fridge.

"Toast. I can make toast?" I handed Elena a cup of coffee,

"It's all about the coffee, Aunt Jenna." Elena told her. I smiled at my sister before taking a seat at the table. Elena chose a simple outfit today, a red short sleeved top, hoop earings and a pair of dark blue flared denim jeans. Also, her hair was like it always was; straightened to perfection as it hung loosely over her shoulders.

Jeremy walked into the kitchen, looking half-dead and looked completely oblivious to anything. "Is there coffee?" He asked, I poured him a cup and handed it to him carefully. Wary as to whether he would drop dead at any given moment.

"It's your first day of school and I'm totally unprepared." She said again, taking money out of her purse and offering it to us three.

"I'm okay," Elena answered, I took a note as did Jeremy. Unlike Jeremy, I took mine slowly, whereas he practically snatched it out of her hands. Eager-beaver, much?

"Anything else? A number 2 pencil?" She joked, I rolled my eyes and shook my head at her. It wasn't that much long ago when she had been at school to be quite honest. She continued to pack her bag as Jeremy checked his phone, hiding his message from anyone as if it was some kind of secret that no-one could ever know about. "What am I missing?" she asked us.

"Don't you have a big presentation today?" Elena asked, you could see Aunt Jenna's eyes widen in panic.

"I'm meeting with my thesis adviser at..." She checked her watch and packed her bag more viciously. "Now." She took down her golden dirty blonde hair and let it hang loose before muttering "Crap" and shoved her bag over her shoulder.

"Then go. We'll be fine." I said to her with a smile, trying to be nice to her because she worked way too hard. Seriously. I wished that there could be something that I could do to help her. Jenna returned the smile before leaving the house and going off to the real world to work. I finished my cup of coffee before dumping it in the dishwasher and I stared down at the floor.

"You okay?" Elena asked our brother, he rolled his eyes.

"Don't start." He told her before walking out of the room holding his cup of coffee to his mouth. I walked towards Elena and wrapped my arms tightly around her comfortingly, she looked like she needed someone to be there for her. To tell her that everything was going to be alright. She hugged me back tightly, like I was a lifeline and if she let go of me then something bad was going to happen. I closed my eyes slowly and pulled away, opening them again and forcing a smile out at her.

"You don't have to pretend, okay?" She told me, I nodded slowly.

"I don't want people to worry about me and ask me if I'm fine all the time because I don't need the attention. I don't need to be reminded of the fact that we've lost our own parents." I sniffled, "and the worst part is? It's my fault." Elena shook her head slowly,

"Nicole don't say that, please? This isn't your fault."

"If I hadn't begged them and pleaded for them to come and pick me up, then they would still be alive. If I hadn't just accepted the lift off Tyler then they would still be here."

"Well Tyler's a dick." She said through gritted teeth, "who would want to get a lift with him?"

"Vicki?" Matt's sister. Elena's ex-boyfriend; Matt. The 'boy-next-door' type, all cute and cuddly with his blonde curls and big smile. Ever since the accident, Elena couldn't be with him anymore. He kept discussing the future and Elena didn't want to think about anything in the future just yet, she wanted to live now, in the present.

I could see where she was coming front but it broke Matt's heart. Tore it in two. But she did what was right for her. If things were bad now, then they could only get better.

"Vicki..." Elena muttered, "poor girl." The Donnovan's mother was never around, moving from town to town, boyfriend to boyfriend, without her children. Expecting Matt to take care of himself and his sister in the meantime until her return was silly. But he did it. Elena and I never knew how but he did it.

I smiled at her before disappearing upstairs to grab my bag. I took a quick glance at myself in the mirror before leaving. My naturally curly brown hair was hanging loose, I wore a little dark eyeshadow and eyeliner. For my outfit, I was wearing black skinnies with a white long sleeved shirt which I constantly kept pulling over my hands with a pair of white ballet flats. Today was going to be a black and white day because it was going to be boring as ever like usual.

I ran downstairs and was pulling into the arms of...Bonnie! I grinned wide as I held her tightly to me, I pulled away a few seconds later and laughed hysterically.

"How are you?" She asked, smiling wide back at me. "I haven't had a chance to see you lately, it's so good to see you!"

I nodded quickly, "I'm fine and I know! It seems like forever!" I hugged her excitedly again before walking outside with Elena at my side, following Bonnie into her car. Elena and I had a quick discussion about who should get shotgun and we decided that it should be moi because Bonnie and I could talk all the way there. I didn't want to see anyone throughout the summer because...I hadn't been myself. And I didn't want anyone to see me like that.

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**A/n: Remember to review me what you thought! ^_^ **

**~x~**


	3. Maybe You can't Handle Yourself

**_A/n: This story deserves a massive apology for starters! I'm so so so sorry for not updating this story in so long - But at last! I finally got around to it, be proud! :3 3 -xo_**

Chapter 3: Maybe You Can't Handle Yourself

Nicole:

As me, Elena and Bonnie were discussing this week's bonfire party I screamed uncontrollably when a bird flew in front of the windscreen. Holy shit! Bonnie stopped the car immediately and turned to look at both of us, Elena looked like she was about to throw up.

"It was just a bird, Elena...I-It's alright," she told her reassuringly.

"I-It's fine, Bonnie; really. Carry on...Let's go. I can't be scared of cars for the rest of my life." Elena explained sadly, obviously deep in thought – still thinking about the accident that our parents and ourselves went through.

Bonnie frowned as she started up the engine again, clearly thinking that it was her fault. Bonnie glanced back towards me, asking if I was okay with a slight smile. I nodded slowly and put my head in my hands, re-thinking about whether I should have come into school or not today.

"We need to just relax, okay?" Bonnie said brightly, trying to brighten the mood of things. I looked up at her from my hands and smiled a little. I knew that we _needed_ to, but whether I _could _or not was completely other thing.

"I predict that this year is going to be kick-ass." She said, determined to get her point across. She took mine and my sister's hands in hers and gave them both a tight squeeze. "I believe that all of the sad and dark times are over and we're all going to be happy." Bonnie promised, looking at both of us individually – telling us with her eyes that she was being deadly serious. It took me a second to realize that she_ was _trying to look into the future.

Elena had told me a few times about Bonnie's newly-found psychic abilities. It was pretty awesome when I thought about it – I mean, who wouldn't want to be able to use nature to do what you want? To manipulate it to help you with everyday activities? Obviously Bonnie, more recently she was experiencing regret, like she didn't want to have the gift that she had been given anymore. So obviously, it wasn't as great as she had originally made it out to be...

All I wanted was that she was happy and if she thought that she was going to be happy without magic, then surely that was a good thing and that the magic should back off a little? I guessed that I didn't really understand it because I myself wasn't a witch and by the sounds of it – I didn't want to be one either.

Elena and I both smiled back at Bonnie and I moved forwards so that I could pull them both into my arms and give them both a tight hug. I pulled away so that Bonnie could start up the car again and I could see tears in Elena's eyes. Oh no, no water works. Whenever she cried it made me cry. I gave her hand another tight squeeze and she smiled back at me, I pressed a gentle kiss to her hand before sitting back in my seat and doing up my seatbelt as Bonnie started up the car again so that we could continue our drive to school.

I must have said that everything was normal and that I was okay about forty-seven times. I must have heard the words 'Everything will be okay' about the same. Now that I thought about it there was nothing that I wanted more than to be at home with Jeremy.

He was a sweet little brother – everything you could ask for.

He ignored and avoided Elena as best as possible, God knows why but me and him...There was just something there that Elena and him had never had. It was sad really.

I tapped my foot nervously as I waited for Bonnie to drive past our meeting point, only wanting to just get home. Home, home, home. Safe and sound.

I got a tap on my shoulder and I turned around, looking whoever it was up and down. I thought it was Elena, but the leather jacket that the man was wearing was a dead give-away that it was certainly _not _Elena. He was wearing dark jeans and a back shirt underneath the black leather jacket.

One of the main features that stuck out to me was his hair, it was jet black and a little messy, it hung over one of his eyes and he was smiling down at me knowingly. "Katherine?" The man asked, his light blue eyes transfixed down on mine. I shook my head slowly, my eyebrows furrowing together.

"I'm sorry, I think you must be mistaken." I replied politely, ducking my head away from him when I heard Bonnie calling my name, driving up next to the curb. I sent him a smile before I went around him and into Bonnie's car.

"Who was that?" She asked, eyeing the mysterious man up and down. I shook my head and she started up the car again after checking her mirrors.

"No idea, all I know is that he called me Katherine." I muttered and put on my seatbelt, glancing back to see the man but only seeing an empty spot of where he once was.

The drive home was silent and for that I was thankful, Bonnie said her farewells and when I got inside I found Jeremy in the backyard finishing off a cigarette with his half-girlfriend Vicki – Matt Donnovan's sister. Elena's ex-boyfriend. Ah...

I hesitantly walked over to him and sent him a smile, "h-hey, you alright?" I asked, he put out his cigarette and stood to give me a tight hug. Vicki merely smiled at me when Jeremy pulled away to return to his seat.

"Never better." He bluntly replied, "school sucked as usual then, I assume? I saw you getting bombarded with people today." Jeremy added, I rolled my eyes.

"You saw that?" I asked, Vicki nodded too and I blushed a deep red. Of _course _he saw it – who wouldn't? Don't even get me started on Caroline – she wouldn't stop talking – seriously! But I guessed that all she wanted to do was help and that was how that she did it. Elena came marching into the garden and I turned around, Jeremy cursed under his breath, as did Vicki and I bit down hard on my lip.

"Jeremy!" Elena snapped, "are you smoking again!?" She blurted out angrily, I held up a hand to her, trying to get her to simmer down. Jeremy grabbed Vicki's hand and I tried to keep Elena back when Jeremy ran back into the house with her. "But he's _smoking, _Nicole!" I shook my head slowly.

"Don't you think that there are more problems that he's going through?" I asked and let her go, she ran a hand through her hair and adjusted her orange-red coloured shirt.

"I guess..." Elena mumbled, frowning a little. I wrapped my arms around her shoulders, holding her tightly to my chest.

"He'll be okay, Elena. I promise, I'll watch out for him." I promised her as she sniffled quietly into my shoulder, shaking a little. I pulled away and brushed a strand of her hair away from her face. Jeremy would be fine – we all were. That was all we had – Each other.

Damon:

I thought I had _everything _planned out. Katherine was meant to be here. So why would she not recognize me when I showed? Obviously it wasn't her – _Nice one, Damon. You've screwed up again. How very clever you are._

I sighed and finished my bottle of bourbon at the bar, spinning around on the chair and seeing my dear brother Stefan stood there – Hero hairdo and all. I sent him a lazy smile and he rolled his eyes at me.

"How many times am I going to tell you to leave town, brother? You've been here for weeks now, stalking someone who is supposedly Katherine and guess what – It's not even her!" Stefan chuckled a little, "so now that you're finished here. Leave." Stefan demanded, I shook my head.

"No way, brother. If there is someone who looks _exactly _the same as Katherine then surely you want to know why?" I piped up excitedly, gently shoving Stefan lightly on the shoulder.

"No, Damon. Actually, I don't." Stefan paused, "I have much better things to do than to cower over a back-stabbing bitch who never cared about us." I rolled my eyes again, sighing.

"One last hoorah, Stefan. Come on, help a brother out." I urged him on, gaining another sigh from him. "You know you want to and that you can't resist."

"No, what I want is for you to get out of town." Stefan repeated, starting to turn away and out of Mystic Grill. I sighed and ran after him.

"At least let me walk with you, maybe give me a few leads." I practically begged as we walked out of the Grill. Stefan groaned and shoved me away aggressively.

"What don't you understand about me wanting you to _leave, _Damon?" Stefan paused, collecting his thoughts, being careful with his words. "And what about this girl who looks like Katherine – She could live a happy life without knowing that she's related to a psychopath and she would lead such a better life because of it. Are you seriously going to ruin that? Are you really that heartless to take away her chance to live a happy life?"

I pretended to think mockingly at him. "Yes. Little bit of...Persuasion never hurt nobody." I explained, smirking wide at him. Stefan groaned and stormed off angrily, instead of going after him like I normally would have, I stayed where I was and decided that a trip to the local high school was in order. The school records, maybe something there would tell me anything about this...Look-alike.

Maybe then my heart can be healed.

...Then I can finally get what I want.

...I can be content.

A/n: Comment below what you thought of this chapter it would really help me! :3 -xo


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